Leaving the Past Behind

We’re excited to kick off a new series here on the Sooth blog. Case Closed is our new feature to share stories about community members' adventures with advice on and off the app. We’ll roll it out in phases over the course of the week, kicking off each episode with a little more color than you'd normally see in the situations community members need advice on. Next we’ll share the advice they received both in person and on Sooth. Finally, we’ll wrap up each Case Closed by revealing what the person ended up doing and what happened. Get ready to weigh in, and let us know if you’d like to submit your own adventures.

Our latest Case Closed involved a young woman who was stuck lingering over an an ex -boyfriend and ex-friend's relationship. You can read the full scenario and the advice she received below and continue on to see what she decided to do. 

THE SITUATION & THE ADVICE

WHAT HAPPENED

It was the anonymous advice that really lit a fire for me. I ended up unfriending her with the realization that I should protect myself and my own feelings more than hers. I considered adjusting my settings so that we were still “friends” but I wasn’t “following her updates.” As soon as I clicked through on that option, I said aloud “who am I kidding? This is ridiculous!”. I needed real, not just digital boundaries to move on. Being friends with her in any form made me loosely aware of her, and their(!) every move. The blurred boundary was preventing me from investing in my new relationship and overall path forward. I wrote a letter to my ex that I didn’t send. It felt so good to write it that I didn’t need to send it and open the floodgates of emotions that would have been waiting for his response. It was the exact closure I needed. I have a script in mind for the day either of them reaches out, so I can access that and stop obsessing over the best way to phrase things without hurt feelings… I will wish them the best and explain that social media and excess connections were overwhelming me— I made it a resolution to take every measure possible to be present in the relationships that feed me. I think of it like a personal motto that works for all sorts of situations I find myself pleasing others over myself.  

 

Tell us what you think? Do you think she made the right decision? What would you have done differently?